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We Are Never, Ever Getting Our Pre-Baby Body Back — and That’s OK

I gained a lot of weight with my first baby. By “a lot,” I mean I passed the “healthy recommended weight gain of 30 to 35 pounds” mark before entering my third trimester and I couldn’t have cared less.

I was hungry. If I tried eating healthy by stuffing my face with fruits and veggies and nuts, it felt like my baby was eating my insides to survive.

I wanted cheeseburgers, blooming onions, and if anyone thought about reaching across the table to touch my mac ‘n’ cheese with extra bacon, I’d fork them.

I hit the scales 55 pounds heavier than when I got pregnant and because I’ve always had a fast metabolism, people reassured me that I’d get my “pre-baby body back” in no time and all would be right with the world.

a person is standing in the grass: mother-and-daughter-field© Provided by RockYou Media(; mother-and-daughter-field

Nine weeks after giving birth, I’d lost all the weight, but guess what? My body was in no way that same as it was before. How could it be? I grew and carried a human being for over nine months. I was feeding him through my breasts. I was carrying him around and going on no sleep and forgetting to drink water while still peeing my pants at times.

A few more weeks passed and I was five pounds lighter than when I became pregnant but my old jeans didn’t fit the way they once did.

They were baggy in the bum and tight in the stomach. I remember I always had a waistline gap in my pants and they fit well in the rear before I had kids.

A young woman cuddling her new baby boy or girl with love.© Getty A young woman cuddling her new baby boy or girl with love. It seemed like my stomach and butt cheeks got together and said, “Hey! Let’s swap some junk around.”

My boobs were lower and my button-down shirt pulled at the third button instead of having fat pads blossom over my bra line.

I cared for a minute, then went on to have two more children in two years and realized something: the talk around getting our pre-baby bodies back needs to be thrown out with yesterday’s coffee grounds.

We try so damn hard to get something back most of us will never get back and feel enormous pressure around trying to “get back” our old body after birth — you know, the one who hasn’t grown a set of lungs and eyeballs and carried another human being and placenta for almost a year.

This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try and be healthy so we can bring our best to our family. This doesn’t mean we won’t lose all the weight. This doesn’t mean our bodies won’t be better after giving birth — I believe mine is.

© Getty But is it the same body? Hell no. And I refuse to try and shrink down to my 20-year-old self because my sanity is more important. But, also, it’s never going to happen.

Take the pressure off yourself right now. Look at your child and remind yourself you made them. Your skin, muscles, and bones did the work. Your heart, mind, and your body are forever changed.

You don’t need to get your pre-baby body back. You need to be happy and comfortable in the place you are now with the body you do have — a body that is forever changed because of the miracles it’s capable of creating.

I believe when every mom lets go of the urge to get that pre-baby body back, then we can all relax and accept ourselves and our bodies for all the amazingness it created. After all, how else would we have met the loves of our lives?

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